


This World is a Ruin

by eightprince



Series: Dream Eaters [1]
Category: B.A.P
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-16 04:31:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11246370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eightprince/pseuds/eightprince
Summary: in which Jongup is a god who lives within his dreams





	1. Chapter 1

When Jongup touches it, it crumbles.

His imaginary world that he's had to rebuild so many times.

This body that he calls his

has been made sweet and hollow by the dark side of the moon.

He's waiting. 

Waiting

waiting

waiting.

For his prince in shining armor.

Those things don't exist here. He's a God.

We don't believe in such things!

He's a lonely God.

His kingdom is just a speck of nothingness between Heaven and Earth.

"I'm not lonely," He claims,

"I don't think of things like loneliness."

He spends his days sitting at his throne, watching the Earth spin.

He watches it grow bigger and bigger by the day.

He watches the people go by and age.

Say, that world you were born in

those flavors in your mouth that you taste

was it spicy?

Salty?

Bitter?

Or perhaps sour?

Ah, I've been tasting bitterness for years.

That's beginning to change, though.

Jongup's in love. A human boy caught his eye.

Kim Himchan

Born April 19th, 1990

He's beautiful. Jongup watches him closely.

He's learned all of his quirks.

He's picked up his speech pattern. Jongup often tries to imitate his speech.

"Fried chicken."

That sounds like him, I think.

What is "fried chicken"? I don't know what that is.

Jongup knows all his likes, his dislikes, what he does for fun, where he is at a specific time.

Don't consider it stalking. Jongup isn't a stalker.

Jongup is just a God, learning the way of humans.

How many feelings of love has Himchan been sending to him?

How has he been able to send feelings toward this world?

Jongup sends something, Himchan sends something back.

It's like a masquerade ball.

Round and round and round they spin.

Opening up more and more and more 

from the gaping hole freshly opened,

sweetness, bitterness, and Jongup's tears overflow.

Jongup reaches out to touch it. It crumbles down.

Like a child playing with toy blocks and they come crashing down when the child touches it.

He'll have to rebuild it again.

He's rebuilt it many of times.

Here, look, please touch it.

Jongup's kind of felt something.

He doesn't know what it is.

The real Moon Jongup, clawing at him, begging to be set free.

But he can't. That kind of power is too much, not even Jongup can control it.

It kind of hurts.

He loves, he loves, he loves 

he wants to know.

He loves loving. 

His world is a ruin.

He wants to abandon it and live on Earth with Himchan.

But he'd stick out like a sore thumb.

His messy blue hair, his cape, everything.

It would stick out.

He's not human.

He can speak their language well, but it can be broken at times.

Not all Gods know everything.

Perhaps Himchan could come and save him from this world.

"I'll come and see you soon, my prince."

Jongup closes his eyes. 

And when he opens them, 

everything's gone.

It's his him, his throne, and his view of the Earth.

He'll have to rebuild it again.

Perhaps he's dreaming.

But Himchan's still out there.

Jongup can see Himchan. But Himchan can't see Jongup.

He wonders what he smells like.

I bet he smells like roses, I think.

Suddenly, a bed of roses begin to bloom around his feet.

He wonders what his lips would taste like.

I bet he tastes nice. Like, a fruit.

A sweet, yet somewhat bitter fruit.

Suddenly, a fruit tree spouts from the space.

Ah, I bet he wouldn't mind if I'm not human.

Right?

Jongup closes his eyes again

and when he opens them,

Himchan is right there, standing in front of him.

Jongup reaches out to touch him.

His hand goes right through his body.

"Prince," Jongup whispers.

Himchan just stares at him, a goofy smile on his face.

"Prince," Jongup repeats, "Speak to me."

Himchan doesn't say anything.

He just stands there until inevitably crumbling away.

Jongup watches him crumble.

He'll have to rebuild it again.

He's beautiful, even when his body is a pile of nothingness.

He longs for his touches, his soft, low voice.

He wants to do things that humans like to do with their partners.

Jongup isn't quite sure what humans do, but he'll learn.

Round and round and round they'll spin.

They'll dance away, like they're dancing the waltz.

One. Two. Three.

One. Two. Three. 

Ah, how I long for his touches.

Jongup's world is a ruin.

He wants to abandon it and live on Earth with Himchan.

His prince in shining armor.


	2. Chapter 2

Today, Jongup discovers that he was dreaming.

In the middle of Heaven and the Earth, there he was.

He and his kingdom just floats.

He just floats on his throne.

Everyone envied who he was.

Or what he still is, rather.

He's a God.

A singular, unique entity full of power

and love.

He stares down into the portal to Earth.

It's getting bigger. But humans are foolish.

They're destroying their own habitat.

Like Jongup when he kills anything he touches.

Humans are foolish creatures, aren't they?

Jongup is a foolish creature, isn't he?

He makes sure he looks his best for his prince.

He fixed his hair specifically for this.

His ears perk up. They're pointy and sensitive.

His eyes flicker different colors depending on his mood. Like a mood ring, if you will.

For example, his eyes flicker a soft pink color.

He's in love.

"I'm coming, my prince."

He takes a deep breath before falling through the portal, floating gracefully down to Earth as if he weighed nothing.

Hello.

Good evening.

Good morning.

It's very nice to meet you.

Of course, I'd like to get to know you better.

To get in contact with you is what I'm currently seeking.

If you have something that's of equal value

or something of mine, rather 

like a miracle, a fate, some guidance to guide me to you 

I'd like it.

You, a human, who got to meet me, a God, are happy, right?

He lands delicately on the grass. It's warm on his feet. 

It feels pleasant.

The wind blows gently, leaves and trees swaying side to side.

It's pleasant.

What's that yellow thing in the sky?

Is it the sun? The Earth's life source, perhaps?

Earth is pleasant.

Jongup kneels down to a flower, an amaryllis. 

He touches it, and it explodes into a tiny galaxy before floating away.

Earth is a very strange place.

People walk past him on the streets near the grassy area. They don't pay him any mind.

Humans are peculiar creatures.

He walks over to one, his footing awkward because he's never walked in grass before.

He touches the human girl on her shoulder.

And she explodes into a galaxy, much bigger than the galaxy of the amaryllis, and floats away.

No one seems to pay them any mind.

If this happens to humans when Jongup touches them, what would happen if he touches Himchan?

He walks across the street to touch more things.

The asphalt is hot under his feet, but he doesn't seem to mind.

He stands in the middle of the street, watching people go by, watching the day go by.

There's a strange thing in the street.

It's red, and it has wheels.

Jongup doesn't know what it is. What is it?

He touches it and it floats away into the sky.

There's nothing but things that aren't enough.

He touches things and they explode into a galaxy before floating away.

He spends most of the day touching things, touching people.

Oh, this one looks strange. 

She's pretty, but what's that in her stomach?

Why is it so big? What did she eat?

Jongup can't grasp the concept of pregnancy.

He touches her belly, and a flower begins to bloom inside of her.

It's a purple flower. It's beautiful. 

It gets bigger and bigger.

Jongup thinks it's called an aster.

A symbol of love, daintiness, and trust.

That's strange. Humans are strange.

There's nothing but things that aren't enough.

Jongup can't see anything but what's not enough.

Everything that he touches seems to explode into sparkles and galaxies or blooms into flowers.

But when he touches himself, nothing happens.

Why is that?

He's not too sure.

It's fun, right? I think so.

Are you happy? Of course I am.

If you're happy as well, then let's talk like everyone else.

What should we talk about?

It's exciting, right? It's thrilling, right?

I've never been so happy like I am right now.

Why? Because I got to meet people.

And I'm not alone on my throne anymore.

Jongup's eyes flicker yellow.

He's happy.

He won't let the others distract him anymore. He's in search of his prince.

"I'm coming for you, my prince."

He looks through the windows of buildings and little shops, pressing his face on the glass.

He watches closely as people go on with their day.

They don't pay him any mind.

As if he's not real.

A man is holding a square thing. He's swiping it.

What is that? Is it edible?

Jongup takes the square thing out of the man's hand and bites down on it.

It tastes like metal and glass.

He gags at the unpleasant feeling before returning the square thing to the man, and walking away like nothing happened.

The man didn't pay him any mind.

A pleasant aroma fills the air. It smells good.

It makes Jongup's stomach growl.

He jumps at the sudden noise. 

What was that?

Well, no matter.

Jongup follows the scent until he reaches a busy café.

Right there. That's where the scent is coming from.

His stomach growls again, and he yelps at the noise.

His eyes flicker red.

Danger? Maybe? He's not too sure.

He waits for the noise to come back, but it never does.

His eyes flicker back to yellow.

Optimism.

He walks right into the door of the café, thinking it was a portal.

But it's not. It's a door.

You can't walk through doors unless they're open.

He's a little frustrated.

A human opens the door, and Jongup quickly walks through it.

That was strange. Humans are strange.

The café's full of things he's never seen before.

Ah, my prince loves to visit these places.

But what's this? What's that? Ooh, I've got to touch them.

So he touches them. 

The round white thing instantly shatters, and the clear cylinder shaped thing melts.

Ah. That's strange.

Jongup's so immersed in humans, he's so immersed in touching things and watching them explode into galaxies or flowers blooming out of them that he forgot why he's here.

There's a brown round thing sitting on top of a white round thing. It gives off a smell.

It smells good.

Once again, his stomach makes another noise, but he's so focused on the brown round thing.

I must have it.

So he takes it and bites into it.

It doesn't taste like metal or glass.

It tastes good. He can't explain what it tastes like, but it tastes good.

He takes another bite into it.

And another. And another. 

Until it's gone.

Huh? Where did it go?

There's another square thing sitting on the table. Just like the one that man was holding, but a different color.

He holds it in his hand.

Ooh. It's nice.

He presses on one of the buttons and the screen lights up.

He quickly sucks in a breath and his eyes flicker red.

Danger. Be careful.

He stares at the square thing, watching it intently, waiting for it to explode or something.

It never does. The screen fades to black.

His head tilts to the side and his eyes flicker a soft purple color.

Curiosity.

He presses the button again and the screen lights up.

It's a mixture of pleasant colors.

Ooh. It's pretty. It makes me happy.

The square thing begins to vibrate, and he drops it onto the ground.

Oops.

There's a brown liquid in a different round thing.

It smells good.

Jongup sticks his tongue in it.

It's hot, but it doesn't mind.

It tastes good.

He picks up the round thing and laps up the brown liquid.

It leaves a warm feeling in his stomach. 

Ah, it feels nice.

He should really be looking for his prince.

He presses his body against the door and walks out of it, wandering the streets in search of his prince.


	3. Chapter 3

It's fun, right? I think so.

Are you happy? Of course I am.

If you're happy as well, then let's talk like everyone else.

What should we talk about?

It's exciting, right? It's thrilling, right?

I've never been so happy like I am right now.

Why? Because I got to meet people.

And I'm not alone on my throne anymore.

Jongup's eyes burn red with desire and passion.

He wants to see his prince so bad.

I want to see you.

There's this feeling in my chest. I don't know how to explain it. It's like something inside of me keeps thumping and thumping.

It feels...pleasant.

The sky is no longer blue.

It's a pink orange color.

It's strange.

Bright lights and flashing lights light up the streets. It's pretty.

It reminds him of Himchan.

Ah, he wants to do so many things with him.

He wants to hold his hand, he wants to take him out to bite into those brown round things.

He wants to kiss him.

All pleasant thoughts.

He picks up a scent.

It smells like roses and leather.

It smells like Himchan. 

So, he follows it, touching things he's never seen before and watching them explode into galaxies.

There's a lady holding a clear thing that's filled with a copper liquid.

He doesn't know what it is, so he takes it.

He sniffs it. It smells nice.

He laps up the liquid. It tastes weird, but pleasant.

It's not as pleasant as the warm brown liquid, but it's pleasant.

He wants more of it.

There's another clear thing with the same liquid and he takes it.

It's so good, he doesn't know what it is.

It makes him feel good until his head starts hurting.

Huh? What's happening to me?

The pain gets intense, his eyes flickering different colors.

Red, yellow, white, black.

Danger, warning, coldness, anger.

It hurts. It hurts...

The pain gets progressively worse 

then it stops.

A pleasant feeling comes back and replaces the pain.

What is this? Is this poison to humans?

Jongup can't grasp the concept of alcohol.

He's having a fit of giggles, watching the lights get blurry.

He's touching things and his giggling gets louder when they explode.

Touch. Touch. Touch. Whooooo!

This is fun. He's having fun.

But he's dizzy, and he can barely walk. 

He feels good.

I don't know what's happening to me, but it's nice. Is this how humans have fun?

Jongup can't grasp the concept of drunkenness.

He giggles as he walks, picking up Himchan's scent.

There's a queasy feeling in his stomach, but he chooses to ignore it and go on his merry way.

He didn't get very far when the queasy feeling gets worse, causing him to gag.

What? What?

Whatever he's eaten today comes back up onto the sidewalk, and it hurts.

He panics a little.

Eyes flicker red. Danger. Be careful.

Jongup can't grasp the concept of vomiting.

What is that? Why'd it come out of me like that? 

He stands there confused before deciding it's best for him to just leave it alone. 

He walks away, making sure not to step in whatever that is, and picks Himchan's scent back up.

Well, whatever it is, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Ah, no matter.

He continues to walk down the sidewalk. Everything's still a little blurry, but he'll manage.

The scent gets stronger and stronger.

"I'll see you soon, my prince."

The scent leads him to another café. Himchan loves to go to these places, after all.

After watching a human open the front door to the café, Jongup does the same.

He looks around, vision still a little blurry.

He spots him.

"I've finally found you, my prince."

Himchan's just as beautiful up close as he was on the portal back home.

Jongup's eyes flicker a green color.

Nervousness. Inexperience.

He doesn't know how to approach Himchan without being weird or creepy.

Ah, what should I do? He's so pretty, and the feeling in my chest is back.

Himchan looks up at him, and Jongup's face is red.

What's happening? This is weird.

Jongup doesn't grasp the concept of falling in love just yet.

"Kim...Himchan...?" Jongup says slowly.

"Uh-huh?"

You're beautiful.

"I..." Jongup begins to stutter over his words, "My name is Moon Jongup....I came a great distance to meet you...."

Himchan raises his eyebrows, "Huh?"

"You may not know me, but I know you...You see,

I'm not from here. I'm not from Earth. You can probably tell by the way I talk. And my ears.

I live in a kingdom in between Earth and Heaven. I watch over humans and I spent most of today figuring out how humans live life. 

It's much different than I thought it would be. I touched things and they exploded into a galaxy and they floated away.

I touched a woman's stomach and a flower bloomed out of it. It was strange. Humans are strange.

They didn't seem to mind me, which is also strange."

Himchan slowly takes Jongup's words in.

"So, what does this have to do with me?" He asks.

Jongup hesitates to take Himchan's hands. He grabs hold of them, waiting for Himchan to explode.

He never does.

"Ah...Okay, so," Jongup clears his throat, "I've had my eye on you. That sounds really creepy, but I've had my eye on you for a while.

I watch humans go on with their lives from above. And you seem the most interesting. 

You're very pretty and everything about you makes my chest go...thump. I can't explain it. So I decided to come see you, my prince."

This is way too much to take in.

"Prince, huh?" Himchan says with a small smirk, "I'll buy into your scheme, little man, but if something happens to me, I--"

"Nothing will happen to you, I swear on my life," Jongup says.

There's an awkward silence.

"Jongup? Is that your name?"

Jongup's ears perk up, "Yes, my prince?"

"Did...did you really mean what you said about me being pretty?"

"Of course," Jongup's lips curl into a smile, "I wouldn't lie to you like that.

Himchan's face flushes, "I really appreciate it. I've struggled with self esteem issues for a while now, and it means a lot coming from a stranger."

"I'll always call you pretty, my prince."

They get to know each other.

Well, not really. 

Jongup explains to him what he observed throughout his time in between Heaven and Earth.

"Prince, I'd like to ask for clarification about a few things I've seen throughout my time observing. Is that okay?"

Himchan nods, "I'll explain things to you the best that I can."

"Great," Jongup says with a grin, "Well, while in my kingdom, I've seen things. Good things and bad things. Let's start with the bad things."

"Alright."

"Well...In America, I think that's what it's called, the humans there are very discriminatory.

For example, a while ago, long before you came to exist, these humans with darker skin than you and I, they were treated terribly.

They had brown skin. It's a beautiful shade of brown. They all were different shades of brown and they were all beautiful.

They were afraid of the humans in white. And I didn't understand why, but after further observation, I knew.

The humans in white hung the beautiful brown skinned humans by their next and burnt their property to to ground, and I never understood why.

The humans in white wanted to be superior. And I don't understand why. It made me upset because humans shouldn't have to live in fear like that. The humans in white called themselves the 'klansmen', but I don't know what that means.

It made me cry."

Jongup can't grasp the concept of white supremacy.

"I don't know much about that," Himchan says, "I mean, I'm from Korea and I've been here my whole life.

So, I think you're asking the wrong person."

Jongup nods slowly, "Then how about war?"

"War?"

"Yes, prince. I would wake up in my throne and I'd see death and destruction everywhere.

People shooting things at each other, people throwing things at each other and they'd explode. 

Not like how I touch things and they'd explode and galaxies come out, but it's more of a fiery explosion.

Why do humans fight in war? For glory? Bragging rights? Superiority? I don't understand.

And the thing is, they'd fight over petty things. They kill people over petty, trivial things, and I'll never understand why."

Himchan sits there in silence, listening to Jongup go on and on about war.

"I saw a woman today," Jongup says, his tone in voice changing, "She was very pretty. I want to talk about happy things. Anyway, she looked strange. Something was in her stomach and I didn't know what it was.

It was huge and it looked like it hurt, but she looked happy. And when I touched it a flower bloomed out of it. What was it? I'm confused."

"She's probably pregnant," Himchan says, chuckling at Jongup's innocence.

"What's that?"

"Well, women have the ability to carry children. They grow bigger and bigger over a period of nine months, then she has to give birth to it."

"Birth...does it hurt?"

"Absolutely. But childbirth is wonderful."

"Where do tiny humans come from, though?"

"Sex. You uh, know what that is, right?"

"I think so," Jongup stares off into space for a little, "Wait. It all makes sense now."

Himchan looks up from his coffee cup, "What does?"

"About a month ago, while I was watching from above, I heard a woman screaming.

It was a blood curdling scream, and I was so confused, and people were yelling at her. I thought she was dying.

But it suddenly got quiet, then I heard crying. She was holding a tiny little human in her arms, and she looked happy. That made me happy."

"See? I told you childbirth is wonderful."

"Are men able to go through childbirth? Or..."

Himchan shakes his head, "Only women."

"So women are able to birth a human like that?"

"Hmm."

"How?"

"Either they cut you open or you just...have to push it out."

Jongup reaches across the table and holds Himchan's hands close, "Women are very powerful creatures. 

Please make sure you give them nothing but the upmost respect that they deserve."

"Of course."

Jongup nods happily, "I also saw two women walking and holding hands. They looked very happy. 

They kissed a few times and they looked happy afterwards. It made me feel warm inside. 

Seeing humans display affection for each other instead of killing each other make me happy."

Jongup is so cute and innocent.

"You're adorable," Himchan says, "This place sucks, but there's things here that make living here worth while."

Jongup grins a toothy grin.

"Prince? Before I forget, what is 'fried chicken'?"

"Oh, it's food. You know what chicken is, right?"

"I do not."

"Well...I don't really know how to explain it, but it's really good. You should try it sometime."

I feel weird but...in a good way.

The desire that has been fulfilled 

that's the sensation of completeness, right?

I should explode and sparkle like everything else that I've touched, right?

I should bloom like a flower like that woman with the human in her belly, right?

But, the dream came true. 

What did I do wrong?

Once again, everyone except for myself

seems to be sparkling and exploding and blooming.

It should've been a fulfilled dream...

Everything, except for me, has a reason to sparkle.

Jongup looks at Himchan dead in the eye.

"Is there something wrong?" Himchan asks.

"Prince, I feel weird. I don't know if it's the copper colored liquid or what, but I feel funny," Jongup pats his chest, "Here."

"Copper colored--you mean like, whiskey?"

"Whis...key?"

Himchan nods, "It's alcohol."

Jongup's drawing a blank.

"Alcohol," Himchan says, "It makes you feel good, depending on how much you drink."

"I....I think I understand."

Everything has a reason to shine.

Everything except myself.

He continues to look at Himchan. He's beautiful.

"Prince?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Would you mind if I did this?"

"Wh--"

I love you.

I love you.

I love, love, love you.

I really do.

Jongup reaches across the table and pulls Himchan into a kiss.

It's a long one, but it's passionate.

Jongup closes his eyes.

And when he opens them, everything is gone.

He's back in his ruin of a world.

He's sitting at his throne.

He remembers everything. Everything's vivid to him.

He sighs happily and looks at the moon.

Today, I found out I was dreaming.

This whole time, I've been dreaming.

But my prince exists. And I'm glad to have met him after so long.

I asked the moon "How long have I been so broken?"

But to the me who was dreaming

was glad to see it all, even if it was just a dream.

Now, I have a reason to sparkle and explode into a galaxy.

"May we meet again soon, my love."


	4. Chapter 4

When Jongup touches it, it crumbles.

His imaginary world that he's had to rebuild so many times.

This body that he calls his

has been made sweet and hollow by the dark side of the moon.

He's waiting.

Waiting

waiting

waiting 

for his prince in shining armor to come back.

Jongup met his prince in his dreams. 

He kissed him, and he was send back to his little world.

He was happy that he met him. But bitter that it was all a dream.

Ah, I've been tasting bitterness for years.

He had a princess once. But that was long ago.

She had beautiful brown skin. He watched her closely. And went to go meet her.

But that was a long time ago. Things on Earth are much different than they were back then.

And sadly, the cold hands of death took her away from him.

I'm sorry I couldn't save you, princess.

I can't go to heaven to visit you. I'm sorry.

Please forgive me.

He sits at his throne, watching over humans like he usually does.

This is tiresome.

Sitting in a throne by yourself watching humans from above can get pretty lonesome.

"Ah, I'm not lonely," Jongup claims, 

"Gods don't get lonely. We don't think of things like loneliness."

He'll just float on his little speck of a kingdom until the end of time.

The thought of Himchan pops in his mind again.

The thought of kissing him.

Running fingers through his hair.

Loving him.

Maybe Jongup is a lonely god after all.

I have a reason to sparkle and shine and bloom, so why should I see him again?

It'll all be a dream anyway.

It won't be real. Why should I try?

I ask the moon, "Should I go see my prince again?"

The moon doesn't say anything back.

I know it heard me. It's just not cooperating right now.

Ah, I miss him so much.

Jongup misses him so much.

He remembers everything about him.

About her.

But she's gone.

And he couldn't save her.

It claws at him. The guilt. 

It makes him cry. 

It makes him want to claw out the diamond embedded in his chest and drop dead.

Gods have diamonds embedded in their chests.

If it so much as cracks, they fall apart.

If it shatters completely, they die.

It's like a makeshift heart.

It's a painful death. That's what Jongup heard.

The diamond hurts. The guilt claws at him.

It hurts.

He doesn't want whatever happened to her to happen to Himchan.

I'm going to go see him.

He jumps up from his throne.

I'm going to go see him.

I look okay, right?

I'm going to go see him.

He stares into the portal to Earth.

Ah, I've tasted bitterness for years.

Jongup wonders if anything has changed since he last saw Himchan.

It's only been a month or two.

Maybe he still smells like roses.

A bed of roses bloom at his feet.

Or maybe...peonies. He reminds me of a peony.

Prosperity. Honor. Masculinity. Bravery.

The bed of roses wilt. They're replaced by a bed of peonies.

Prince Himchan is very strong.

Ah, how about a dahlia?

Elegance and dignity.

The peonies wilt. They're replaced by a bed of dahlias.

Forget-me-nots. They remind me of true love.

The dahlias wilt. They're replaced by a bed of forget-me-nots.

Forget me not, my prince.

Jongup spends time thinking of flowers that remind him of Himchan.

They grow at his feet, and will wilt if he thinks of something else.

Primrose. Eternal love.

I will love you forever and ever, my prince.

Moonflower. Dreaming of love.

I long to see you.

Mallow. Consumed by love.

My love for you is eating away at me. I hope you will understand.

Jonquil. Return my affection.

I hope you love me the same way I love you.

Hibiscus. Rare and delicate beauty.

Ah, Prince Himchan radiates a beauty different from most humans.

Does Himchan still taste like fruit? Or like the hot brown liquid that I tasted? I want to taste him again.

His body starts to heat up.

It's uncomfortable at first, then it becomes unbearable.

It's like whatever's heating him up is burning at his skin, at his insides.

He's melting. He can feel it.

"Prince--" he gasps, then squeezes his eyes shut.

When he opens them, everything is gone.

He's not melting anymore. Everything is fine.

The flowers are gone.

Ah.

I destroy everything I touch.

I'll have to rebuild it again.

He thinks of peonies again.

And they grow under his feet.

He picks them from the makeshift soil, and gathers them for a peony bouquet.

He fears that they'll wilt and wither before he gets to Earth.

He fears that they'll wilt and wither in his hands.

They don't.

Prince Himchan will love this, I think.

"Prince," Jongup whispers, holding the bouquet close, "Remember when I said I'd see you again?"

He grins, "Well, it's again. I'm coming to see you."

He falls through the portal and floats to Earth, delicately and gracefully like before, as if he weighed nothing.


	5. Chapter 5

Hello.

Good evening.

Good morning.

It's very nice to meet you again.

Of course, I'd like to get to know you a little better.

To get in contact with you is what I'm currently seeking.

If you have something that's of equal value

or something of mine, rather 

like a miracle, a fate, some guidance to guide me to you 

I'd like it.

Here are a bouquet of peonies.

They represent prosperity, honor, masculinity, and bravery.

I believe you have all those qualities, prince. So, that is why I'm giving these to you.

They also represent shamefulness and bashfulness, but I do not believe you own those qualities. Forgive me.

This is how humans display affection, right? Please, tell me if I'm wrong.

I am not human, and this is my third time on Earth. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

But you, a human, are happy to meet me, a God, again, right?

How do you feel right now?

Is your chest thump thumping like mine?

Is your face getting red like mine?

Are your hands getting wet like mine?

It's fun, right? I think so.

Are you happy? Of course I am.

If you're happy as well, then let's talk like everyone else.

What should we talk about?

It's exciting, right? It's thrilling, right?

I've never been so happy like I am right now.

Why? Because I got to see you again.

And I'm not alone on my throne anymore.

Jongup lands in the grass, the familiarity of the feeling of it under his feet come back.

The pleasant feelings come back again.

Ah, this feels good.

I haven't seen these in a while now.

He looks around the area. 

He spots a human boy. Much shorter than Himchan.

Maybe this is the growing stage of humans. I'm not too sure.

He reaches out to touch the boy, and a flower blooms out of his face.

It's a white lilac.

Youth and innocence.

It gets bigger and bigger.

"May you stay young and innocent forever, little one," Jongup whispers.

He reaches out to touch the woman beside the boy, and a different flower blooms from her face.

It's a pink carnation.

A woman's love. A mother's love.

It gets bigger and bigger.

Humans are strange.

Jongup can grasp the concept of motherhood. Somewhat.

Ooh, another human.

He looks strange. He looks

empty.

Jongup reaches out to touch him.

The man doesn't explode, nor does he bloom.

Instead, the man cracks.

There's a hole in his chest.

Jongup jumps back, his eyes flicker red.

Danger. Be careful.

The man begins to claw at the hole

until it turns into the shape of a heart.

Then, the man crumbles away.

Huh. Humans are foolish creatures.

Jongup's eyes flicker purple.

Curiosity.

There are familiar things and unfamiliar things.

There are new things and old things.

There's a round pink thing in the sky.

It's just floating. It's attached by a string.

He grabs the string and pulls the pink thing close, making sure it doesn't fly away out of reach.

It feels strange. I haven't felt this material before.

He rubs the pink thing on his body. Nothing happens.

He presses the pink thing against his chest, and it pops.

Jongup hisses at the noise.

That scared me. Is this a weapon?

Well, no matter.

Jongup can't grasp the concept of balloons.

He presses on, a little shaken by the pink thing.

He stops in his tracks when he sees a fat, fluffy, white thing.

What is that?

Ooh, I want to poke it.

He tenses up when the fluffy white thing moves, trotting around the tree it's doing its business at.

Is it a human?

A little human? Covered in hair?

My prince doesn't have one of those little humans.

The fluffy white thing makes eye contact with him.

Its tongue hangs out of its mouth and its tail begins to wag frantically.

It's very happy to see him.

What is it doing? If its backside moves that fast, would it fly away?

The fluffy white thing runs over to Jongup, nearly knocking him down.

It's so small and cute.

Oh, I want to hug it forever.

Jongup touches the fluffy white thing, hoping it doesn't explode.

It doesn't.

He sighs of relief and continues to poke the fluffy white thing.

Boop. Boop. Boop.

The fluffy white thing makes a barking sound and it freaks Jongup out.

Why is it yelling at me?

Maybe it's happy.

The fluffy white thing barks again, and Jongup barks right back, imitating it, as if they're communicating in some way.

The fluffy white thing plops on its side and stretches out on the grass.

Jongup reaches to pet its tummy.

It's very soft and squishy.

"You're cute," Jongup whispers, "I want to show you to my prince. But I have no idea what you are."

Jongup can't grasp the concept of dogs.

"Bye now," Jongup says, waving to the fluffy white thing and continues to search for his prince.

Everything he remembers from this place is coming back to him.

That's where I had the brown round thing.

That's where I drank the strange copper liquid.

Ah, there are the two women holding hands again.

He goes over to touch them.

Purple violets bloom from their faces.

Love between two women.

They get bigger and bigger until the two women explode into galaxies.

How pretty.

One of the women were holding something.

Jongup grabs it before it hits the ground.

It's cold and it's brown.

It's in a beige cone shaped thing.

He sniffs it. It smells nice.

He bites down on it. His face scrunches up from the coldness of the thing.

But it tastes so good.

So he licks it.

This is pleasant.

Jongup can't grasp the concept of ice cream cones, but he likes it.

He licks it until it's nothing left but the cone shaped thing.

He licks that too. It tastes different.

Do humans ingest this? Strange.

He doesn't know how he did, but he spots Himchan walking along the sidewalk.

There he is. My prince.

The thump thumping comes back. 

I've missed you so much.

Jongup makes sure that the peony bouquet is safe, and he runs up to him.

"Prince Himchan," Jongup calls out, "Prince! It's me!"

Himchan turns to face him, startled by someone calling his name.

Ah, haven't I seen you somewhere?

Right, right, I've seen you in my dreams.

I remember you.

Jongup pulls Himchan close, trapping him in a tight but sweet embrace.

"Can't...breathe," Himchan gasps for air.

"I'm sorry," Jongup says, releasing Himchan, "I just. Missed you a lot."

"Missed me?"

Jongup nods, "I missed you a lot."

"I missed you too," Himchan smiles softly, "I remember you from my dreams."

Himchan wants to love.

"Th-these are for you," Jongup hands him the bouquet of peonies, 

"They represent prosperity, honor, masculinity, and bravery.

I believe you have all those qualities, prince. So, that is why I'm giving these to you.

They also represent shamefulness and bashfulness, but I do not believe you own those qualities. Forgive me.

This is how humans display affection, right? Please, tell me if I'm wrong."

Himchan's smile gets bigger, "You're so cute. Thank you."

Ah, his teeth are crooked. They're cute.

There's a thing by his eye that only shows up when he smiles. It's cute.

Jongup missed his prince.

And it seems like his prince missed him.


	6. Chapter 6

Once again, Jongup talks Himchan to death about things he's seen during his time observing from above.

"This is much more recent.

I don't know what it is. But so many people looked happy. It made me happy.

There were humans. A lot of them. Mostly women sitting in front of a platform. I was so confused because there were at least a thousand women sitting. They were screaming.

Then these men came out onto the platform. They were singing and dancing, they looked young. 

Flashing lights were everywhere, pretty decorations, and everyone looked happy and it made me feel warm inside."

Jongup can't grasp the concept of a concert.

"I think you're talking about a concert," Himchan says, "They're very loud and chaotic, but they're really nice."

"Prince, have you ever been to one?"

"Of course. I'd go with my friends and my sister."

Jongup tilts his head to the side, "Sister?"

Himchan nods, "I have a sister."

"What is a sister? Do I have one?"

"A sister is someone who is related to you by blood. You'd have the same mother, or father, or both.

Only girls that are related to you can be your sister. Sometimes, girls call their friends their sisters if they're really close."

"So what would you call your boy sister?"

"Your brother. Same concept as a sister. Except it's a boy."

"That makes sense. Thank you."

"It's no problem."

"Oh!" Jongup's face lights up, "I saw the same two women holding hands again today.

They had rings on their fingers.

And I touched them, and purple violets bloomed from their faces then they got bigger and bigger until they exploded into galaxies. What does that mean?"

"Well, I don't know about the exploding part," Himchan chuckles, "But the rings mean that they're married."

"Married...?"

"Marriage is the ultimate form of love," Himchan says,

"Two people come together as partners for life. Some people stay partners for life. Others don't. There isn't anything wrong with that.

The two people have a wedding. It can be as big and extravagant as they please. Family and friends show up to watch them come together.

They place the rings on each other's ring finger, this finger," Himchan wiggles his ring finger, "And a priest usually is there to say stuff about them. It's usually boring.

The two people say their vows, they say 'I do', then they kiss and become husband and wife, husband and husband, or wife and wife. It's beautiful, honestly."

The words "Marriage is the ultimate form of love" linger in Jongup's head.

I want to marry prince Himchan.

Marriage is the ultimate form of love.

I want to marry prince Himchan. 

So that he'll know that I love him. Forever.

I couldn't marry her. So I'll marry Himchan.

Oh, but I don't know how a wedding works! It seems like it takes a lot of work to plan, and I don't have any family or friends--I don't even know what those are! What's a priest? Hell if I know!

And the rings...where would I get one? They seem so expensive, and I don't have any human currency! 

The thump thumping in my chest is back.

Do gods even get married? Can gods even get married to humans?

God, this is all so much. I don't understand human traditions and customs, let alone humans themselves! And then...and...and--

"Earth to Jonguppie," Himchan says, placing his hands on his shoulders to snap him from his thoughts.

"Jong...uppie?" Jongup says slowly, "My name is Moon Jongup. I don't know who Jonguppie is. Are they copying me? Tell them to stop or else I'll rip their diamond out of their chest."

Jongup is so cute and innocent.

"You're Jonguppie," Himchan grins.

"So...I should rip my diamond out? I'm not ready to die yet..."

"Wh--no. It's a nickname."

"A what?"

"A nickname."

"....Huh?"

"A nickname is a name you give to someone that means a lot to you. It's a form of affection.

For example, my friends call me Channie. Nicknames are usually shortened versions of your real name."

A form of affection.

The thump thumping in my chest is back.

Ah, I love him so much, and he doesn't understand.

"So, is prince a nickname?" Jongup asks.

"Somewhat."

I want to marry my prince.

"Prince, how does a human ask for someone to marry them?"

"Well, usually, they go to public places and they pull out a box.

The box has a ring in it. They get on one knee and they'll ask, 'Will you marry me?' And the other person will say yes or no.

It's called a proposal. They're cute."

Jongup nods.

I understand. I don't have a ring, though.

"I'm hungry," Himchan says, "Want some pizza?"

"...is that a disease?"

"Far from it. It's made of dough, tomato sauce, different kinds of cheeses, and other various toppings. Usually meat or vegetables.

They put it in ovens and they cook them for periods of time, then you eat them. They're very good."

Ooh, that sounds heavenly.

It seems to make my prince very happy.

I remember him eating one, but I never knew what it was.

Ah, that sounds really good right now. A pizza.

Now I want one.

Jongup imagines himself biting into one.

It makes his stomach growl.

"I'll take that as a yes," Himchan says, the little dimple near his eye comes back, "Let's go, then. I know a place that makes good pizza."

Jongup's face was already red from his thoughts about marriage. It got redder when Himchan heard his stomach, and now it's even redder because Himchan grabbed him by the hand.

This is a form of affection, right? I think it is, those two women were holding hands.

This is how humans display affection, right? Please, tell me if I'm wrong.

I am not human, and this is my third time on Earth. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

But you, a human, are happy to meet me, a God, again, right?

How do you feel right now?

Is your chest thump thumping like mine?

Is your face red like mine?

Are your hands getting wet like mine?

It's fun, right? I think so.

Are you happy? Of course I am.

If you're happy as well, then let's talk like everyone else.

What should we talk about?

It's exciting, right? It's thrilling, right?

I've never been so happy like I am right now.

Why? Because I got to see you again.

And I'm not alone on my throne anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

So, this is pizza.

This must be very popular on Earth. There's so many flavors, so many ways to make it, so many toppings.

I bit into it, and I tasted things I've never tasted before.

The round red things were spicy.

It was crunchy. Like the beige cone shaped thing holding the cold brown stuff.

I've tasted bitterness for years. I've gotten used to the bitter taste that it scared me a little when I tasted the round red things.

They were good. I can see why my prince loves them so much.

I can see why humans love these so much.

It's delicious. Probably not good for your body, but it's delicious.

I wonder how he's feeling right now.

He's probably more focused on the pizza than on me.

Even though I ate, I was focused on him the whole time.

Is he happy like me? My eyes are yellow. That means I'm happy.

Or is he nervous?

How does he feel right now?

Is his chest thump thumping like mine?

Is his face red like mine?

Are his hands getting wet like mine?

It's fun, right? I think so.

Are you happy? Of course I am.

If you're happy as well, then let's talk like everyone else.

What should we talk about?

It's exciting, right? It's thrilling, right?

I've never been so happy like I am right now.

Why? Because I got to see you again.

And I'm not alone on my throne anymore.

Ah, how does digestion work? It sounds scary.

I can feel it in my stomach, but I have no idea how it works. 

The human body is strange.

Humans are strange.

"Human food is delicious," Jongup says, placing his hands on his stomach, "Thank you for giving me the opportunity to try it."

"It's no big deal," Himchan shrugs, "This is your second time here, right? So I'd thought it would be nice to treat you.

Since you came all this way to see me."

"Th-this is my third time on Earth," Jongup says softly, "But, you're right. I appreciate it."

The thump thumping in his chest is starting to hurt.

It's like it's clenching, and it'll stop.

He grunts, it hurts so bad.

"Are you okay?" Himchan asks, reaching to touch him.

Jongup just belches as a response.

Huh?

What was that?

Himchan's surprised, Jongup's surprised. He doesn't even know what that was.

"Say 'excuse me'," Himchan says, stifling his laughter.

"Excuse m--" another one gets caught in Jongup's throat, so he just lets it out.

Himchan bursts out laughing at Jongup's cuteness, watching him get confused at the burps and hiccups coming out of his throat.

It's gross, but in a cute way.

"What's--happening--to me--"

"Just hold your breath, Uppie."

"Am--I--going--to die--?"

"No, just hold your breath."

I don't know what's happening to me, but it's making Himchan happy.

When Prince Himchan is happy, then I'm happy.

Jongup can't grasp the concepts of burping and hiccuping.

He holds his breath and puffs out his cheeks. This is so weird.

But my prince is happy.

His body jumps up and down because of the muffled hiccups.

Himchan's laughing at Jongup's "misery", and it makes Jongup really happy.

"Don't pass out," he says, "You can let it out."

Jongup exhales before letting out one last burp. His face scrunches up,

"That one hurt."

"You're so cute," Himchan says, out of breath from laughing.

"What was that?"

"Burping. And hiccuping. I can't really explain it, but you kind of explained it yourself."

It makes me happy when you're happy.

"Are you okay now?" Himchan asks.

Jongup nods.

Would it be an awkward time to ask to marry him?

I mean, we're in public, so...

Nobody's going to notice, the other humans are stuck.

It's just us.

The thump thumping in my chest is back. Am I going to burp again?

This is nerve wrecking.

Jongup stands to his feet, startling Himchan.

He shuffles over to him, and takes his hand.

He places a soft kiss on it. 

A small flower blooms from where he placed the kiss.

It's a white carnation.

Sweet, lovely innocence.

A pure love.

Faithfulness.

"Uppie, what're you doing-?"

"Prince? Am I doing this right?" Jongup gets on his knee, kneeling before him, 

"Will you marry me?"

I love you.

I love you.

I love, love, love you.

I really do.

Himchan just stares at him. 

Jongup places another kiss, and another flower blooms from the kiss.

A linaria bipartita.

Please notice my love for you, prince.

Please return those feelings.

Himchan shakily sucks in a breath.

Marriage? To a God? He's only twenty seven.

The God loves him so much, so he can't refuse.

"Of course," Himchan says slowly, processing what's going on, "I'll marry you."

Jongup couldn't be happier.

"Oh, I love you, I love you, I love you!" He says, leaving wet kisses on Himchan's face, causing small jasmines to bloom all over his face, 

"I love you! I love, love, love you! I really do! I love you! Oh, I can't say it enough..."

The jasmines simply represent love.

"I love you too," Himchan chuckles, kissing Jongup softly on his lips, "But how would we marry each other?"

...Oh.

I didn't think about that.

Well...

"I can take you back with me," Jongup says, not letting his insecurities take over his enthusiastic tone, "I can make you a god, and you can watch over Earth with me."

Sounds exciting, right?

Himchan's on board. It seems like anything else is better than the current life he's living.

"Uh, what do I have to do?" Himchan asks.

"Love me.

You have to love me.

I'll take everything from you and replace it with my undying love.

Your life, your everything. It'll be mine.

It's not that bad, I promise.

You'll be reborn as a God. 

You won't get your diamond in your chest until later. But you have to love me."

"Uh, okay, how do I love you?"

Jongup stands to his feet, brushing his cape off before squeezing his hands.

Himchan just looks at him, trying not to scratch his face because of the jasmines all over it.

"How do you feel right now?" Jongup asks,

"Is your chest thump thumping like mine?

Is your face getting red like mine?

Are your hands getting wet like mine?

It's fun, right? I think it's fun.

Are you happy? Of course, I am.

If you're happy as well, then let's talk like everyone else.

What should we talk about?

Love? Marriage? Rebirth?

It's exciting, right? It's thrilling, right?

I've never been so happy like I am right now.

Why? Because I got to see you again.

And I won't be alone on my throne anymore."

Jongup places another kiss on his forehead.

He closes his eyes.

And when he opens them, everything's gone.

He's back in his ruin of a world.


	8. Chapter 8

When Jongup touches it, it crumbles.

His imaginary world that he's had to rebuild so many times.

This body that he calls his

has been made sweet and hollow by the dark side of the moon.

Ah, he'll have to rebuild it again.

He looks to his right.

There's someone laying next to him.

"Prince," Jongup whispers, "Prince, it's over."

Himchan's fast asleep, a huge lotus flower taking up most of the space on his forehead.

Rebirth.

He's been reborn.

Tiny honeysuckles and jasmines cover his arms, collarbone, and face, as if they were little freckles.

Devoted affection. Bonds of love.

They're so many flowers on his body.

The white carnation and the linaria bipartita on his hand, the lotus on his forehead, and the honeysuckles and jasmines all over his body.

The ones on his hand represent a ring.

Jongup watches his chest rise and fall to a steady rhythm closely.

Ah, my prince is so cute.

Since we're "married", should I call him my king now?

My king in shining armor.

It's exciting, right? It's thrilling, right?

I've never been so happy like I am right now.

Why? Because I got to take you with me to my imaginary kingdom.

And I'm not alone on my throne anymore.

I'm with you. 

Forever.

Jongup reaches to touch Himchan.

This time, his hand doesn't go through him.

This time, his hand actually touches him.

He feels his soft skin, the fabric of his shirt, and the little honeysuckles and jasmines that paint his body.

It's beautiful.

Himchan is beautiful.

He looks like a garden.

"Prince," Jongup whispers, and Himchan groans softly as a response.

"Wake up, prince, it's over."

Himchan's eyes flutter open.

"Good morning," Jongup says.

"Good afternoon," Himchan says, a small smile creeping on his face.

Jongup leans close into Himchan's face, a few inches away from his lips, "Good evening."

Himchan leans forward some, and presses his lips on Jongup's.

Jongup's heart goes thump thump.

Himchan's heart goes thump thump too.

They're in love.

Himchan remembers seeing Jongup in his dreams.

He was lonely, and so was Jongup, but neither of them wanted to admit it.

That's what drew Jongup in. He'd visit Himchan in his dreams.

And when Jongup wasn't in his dreams, he'd be watching over him from above.

Like a guardian angel.

Just like his princess from way back when.

She was lonely, too.

And Jongup visited her in her dreams and watched over her.

Unfortunately, his princess had died, and the guilt took over his body.

Clawing and scratching at it. 

He felt sorry that he couldn't protect her.

But it wasn't his fault.

She was sick with cancer.

He doesn't want that to happen to Himchan.

Jongup climbs on top of him, making himself comfortable as he explores Himchan, as they love each other, 

as they become one.

Jongup runs his fingers along Himchan's body as they kiss, leaving small flowers as markings.

Small arbutus flowers.

Prince Kim Himchan, you are the only one I love.

Himchan pulls back to kiss Jongup's forehead, leaving a baby's breath flower.

Innocence. Purity of heart.

He goes back in to kiss him, sliding in his tongue this time.

Oh, I've never felt this before.

It feels good.

I mean, I've kissed him before, but it didn't feel as good as this does.

He tastes good. Better than I remember. 

He doesn't taste like the hot brown liquid.

The hot brown liquid tasted bitter, if I remember correctly.

Ah, I've been tasting bitterness for years.

Now, I taste something sweet.

This is how humans display affection, right? Please, tell me if I'm wrong.

I am not human, and this is my third time on Earth. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

But you, a human turned God, are happy to meet me, a pure God, again, right?

You, a human turned God, are happy to marry me, a pure God, right?

You're happy kissing me, right?

How do you feel right now?

I can feel your chest thump thumping like mine.

I can see your face turn red.

Your hands, they're wet like mine.

I can feel something else lower on your body, but I don't know what it is.

There's nothing to be ashamed of, prince.

That's what love is. That's what I think love is.

The sounds of delightful sighing and soft whines fill up the space in Jongup's kingdom.

Flowers are blooming everywhere around the two of them.

Tulips of all colors.

Red, purple, white, yellow.

Undying, forever, one-sided, hopeless

love.

It's like they're in a garden in between Heaven and Earth.

Jongup closes his eyes.

And when he opens them, everything is gone.

He's back in his ruin of a world.

He never left.

He's sitting at his throne.

Small rosemary flowers cover his hands.

Remembrance.

That's his wedding ring.

He remembers everything. Everything's vivid to him.

He remembers Himchan kissing him.

His kingdom is full of rainflowers.

Beds and beds of rainflowers.

I love you back.

I must atone for my sins.

I will never forget you.

The rainflowers are Himchan.

They'll be able to speak to him.

They sound just like Himchan.

Now, Jongup will never be alone.

He sighs happily and looks at the moon.

He swings his feet as he sits in his throne, remembering.

Today, I found out I was dreaming.

This whole time, I've been dreaming.

But my prince exists. And I'm glad to have met him after so long.

I'm glad to have married him.

I asked the moon "How long have I been so broken?"

But to the me who was dreaming

was glad to see it all, even if it was just a dream.

Now, I have another reason to sparkle and explode into a galaxy.

I have another reason to bloom into flowers.

"May we meet again soon, my love," Jongup says.

"Oh, you fool," Himchan says,

"I'm already here with you.

I'll never leave you.

I'll be right here, watching over you like you watched over me.

'Til death do us part."

**Author's Note:**

> i LOVE writing about fantasy and stuff like that so i had fun writing this. flowers and space make a good combo eep
> 
> based off of "lonely god" and "i dream of you" both by daoko <3


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